I've always wanted to be multicultural because I've craved the identity that comes along with having another heritage; if not multicultural then I wanted to be diverse... as in some kind of minority.


I always wanted to be Hispanic, because I think Hispanic culture is very rich.

I understand the plight of a multicultural American/ minority- the difficulty of finding the perfect balance between two opposing ideals and forces- but, for the longest time, I believe I marginalized that fight. I comprehended that someone had to deal with it, but I never understood what it had to have been like. To me the decision was easy; pick the culture or lifestyle that had a richer heritage, the one that had character and was foreign, and one that could offer you a sound identity and title. I never occurred to me how or why maintaining a different lifestyle (as a result of coming from a different culture or status) was difficult.


I imagine for a Muslim woman maintaining her culture in a country like america is really difficult.

However, after I read Lee's essay on coming out of the closet something occurred to me. We all deal with the struggle of merging two identities together- the one that our present culture demands and the one that our parents demand. For some it may be more difficult and pronounced- as with being Muslim or gay- but the underlining theme is consistent for everyone.


Telling my mom I am an atheist is the same (yet different) as Lee telling his super conservative Korean parents he was gay.

Imagine that one has meshed their multiculturalism/minority status on a linear spectrum. Every experience they have, every reaction they internally process will effect the was they'll chose to identify themselves. However, it will take a while before all of these reactions can coales into one main identity. As Lee says, "I never connected my feelings with any larger picture" (226). This occurs for everyone- whether it's someone realizing they're gay, someone realizing that they don't want to be as Chinese as thier family demands, or perhaps someone who realizes they doesn't want to be Chrisitan anymore.



There is the fear of the unknown- of what it will mean for you to finally admit to yourself that you can't hid this divergence from what you've been told is appropriate. The fear of "what they would say when they found out" (266) that you had made a conscious decision to accept that-- inherently-- a part of you had to find it's own place on the spectrum.

Regardless of our background- whether we're discussing someone who is multicultural or not- we still have to deal with the fear of admiting to other people that what we believe and the way that we want to identify ourselves is fundamentally different from their standards. We all go through a battle similar to Lee: "At that moment, I know that I had to make one of two choices. I could either tell her that she was right and that I was not really gay but only going through some problems, or I could speak honestly and tell her the truth" (229). The question is then whether we are willing to "face sever consaquences" (229) for speaking the truth. These consaquences not only affect our family and social circles, but also ourselves. For example, Lee says that "I would at least have to wait a few more years before the oppertunity to reveal who I reall was" (229). Surpressing a fundamental desire to live your life one way for a few years to please others can result in depression and resentment and insecurity.


We can either closer our eyes to our real identity, because we're afraid of what others may say. Or, we can accept that what we feel and want deep down inside will never go away.